Which, you know, being San Francisco, eliminates a few movies that might be included were I to live in Charlotte, North Carolina.
But I don't understand the critics who think this movie was awful and had no plot and sported wooden acting, and, you know, cars just can't do that. That's your criticism? I don't seem to remember anyone saying that bullets can't bounce off eyes like in Superman Returns or robots can't philosophize like in Blade Runner or nobody writes checks for sixty-nine cents for a pint of half-and-half like in The Big Lebowski. That's just part of the world the movie's making for you.
So if the guy from Lost bounces his car up and over a rival motorist for the express purpose of punching him in the face while upside down and flipping over again to gain the lead in an illegal car race, your first thought is "real physics just doesn't work like that"?
Please don't sit next to me at dinner, because we're not going to have a lot in common.
About the only issue I had with Speed Racer was that Matthew Fox pauses in his ninja fight to preserve his identity, Lone Ranger style, and yet is hanging out in a tux at the end of the flick with Inspector Detector and, you know, the rest of the crowd seeing his face. So, OK, he probably has a secret James-Bondian identity, so nobody puts the suave guy together with the leather-clad Racer X, but, still. The only time you should worry about your face in a high-stakes penthouse midnight ninja-fight is when you're protecting it from the flying shurikens, that's what I'm saying.
But that's sort of neither here nor there. Speed Racer is the kind of entertainment I'm looking for when I go to the movies in the first place. Show me some stuff I've never seen.
The rest of you, though...
...you're just peeing on the rug that really ties the room together.
