Enjoy this interview with Ryan and Andrew of Scurvy Dogs. Sample question and answer:
Q: How would you revamp Werewolf By Night, if Marvel let you be you?
Andrew Boyd: I have a 16 point plan:
1) Less Jack Russell, More Kurt Russell.
2) Jack Russell? I mean seriously. Why didn’t his parents name him Dane Greatly, or Boston Terrier, or Useless Chihuahua. Jeez. He’s probably a werewolf due to repeated childhood beatings and being forced to eat dog food. I would write about that.
3) I would do one of those very clever Shakespeare issues, like Neil Gaiman used to do for Sandman. “A Midsummer Night’s Werewolf” or “The Twelfth Werewolf by Night” or “JACK RUSSELL IS: Two Gentlemen of Verona”!
4) Did I really say 16? That was dumb. Uh, the Kurt Russell one again. The point so nice, I’ll use it twice.
5) Jack Russell is kidnapped by Arcade and forced to live in a reality TV show. At the end of the month, he eats everyone. Arcade and Jack Russell get very rich.
6) After getting rich, Jack Russell decides to change his name. He is now known as “Eduardo Fantastico, Prince of my Pants.”
7) Supreme Court sues Eduardo Fantastico, forces him to change name back. Russell goes on 3 week bender that results in accident while chasing the car from Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
8) Jack Russell forced into community service. While picking up trash on the side of the highway, framed for crime he didn’t commit. Like a serious crime, like … giving a tattoo to a minor or something. Anyhow, he goes to jail.
9) While in prison, Jack Russell and Kurt Russell team up and fight sewer-Nazis or something.
10) A whole season of legal drama. Jack Russell gets new lawyer. John Jameson, the Man-Wolf. What Jack doesn’t know is that John never passed the bar, and has huffed so much pain thinner, he thinks he’s the Stargod again. Legal hijinx ensue.
11) Sixteen sounded good, like a nice round number. I should really think these things through more.
12) Jack Russell has cross-continuity crossover with G’nort the Green Lantern. Oh, and if he’s still in jail at this point, he’s out now. Struggle for 22 pages to avoid leg-humping jokes and lawsuits.
13) Try to sneak in leg-humping joke anyway, get sued by Marvel and haunted by the ghost of Gil Kane. Regret several things, especially “16 Point Plan.”
14) “Jack Russell: Agent of P.O.U.N.D” where Jack becomes an international dogcatcher, and has to go on stupid missions such as cleaning up after Devil Dinosaur.
15) Jack Russell accidentally swallows a quarter and dies. Kurt Russell delivers stirring eulogy.
16) Jack Russell reborn as the Phoenix Force, achieves universal enlightenment, and makes sure Jean Grey stays dead this time, or at least until the new X-men movie comes out.
And yes, I will be purchasing Oakley's Thump for Christmas:
I bought the Cyclops X-Men X-Metal Oakleys largely because I'm a prop geek, but dang if they're not the precision optical instruments they claim them to be. Easily the best sunglasses I've ever had. So how do you make them better? Oh, yeah, add in a 256 MB USB drive and hang a pair of speakers off them. Music and digital files on a drive from my sunglasses? Yes, please.
